First of all, I am going to be really vulnerable in this post today. Makes me a little nervous to even post, but Ash kindly reminded that I don't know who else out there needs to hear this. Not to mention, hopefully it will break down some of those ridiculous accusations that people who go overseas are "saints" or perfect. We're human. By NO means perfect. Our address just looks a little different from yours. With that said, allow me to honest with all of you. In return I ask for your prayer and love.
I love making lists. I enjoy writing everything in a column and being able to cross it off when I'm finished. It gives me a sense of accomplishment. I've mentioned before that living here in South Asia, things just move at a different speed, so making lists helps, but can also drive you crazy since normal everyday things might take you much longer to do. Anyways...Ashley and I have found that if we don't make a list of our coming week, things just don't get done. This includes our morning schedule. Normal things go on this list, such as make coffee (a must!), laundry, working out with Jillian Michaels...etc.
However, before I even realized it, I had put "spending time with God" on the to-do list. Now, don't get me wrong. I don't think that there's necessarily anything wrong with putting that on the list in order to get in the habit of spending time with Him. I'm human, and I know if I don't make a mental/physical note to do that, I may have the best intentions to spend time with my Creator, but they stay just that; intentions. But this has now become a time that I rush through, in order to move on to the other activities of the day. Not only that, but my prayer life is also lacking. House visits have become something that are tiring and can be semi stressful, due to the language barrier, and the guessing game of "what the heck am I eating". All in all, I'm just tired, and experiencing a patch of 'culture shock'.
After recent discouragements, I was feeling overwhelmed and far away from God, and stuck in a rut. I was rudely confronted with this when I was asked by a friend what the Lord was showing me through His word, and I honestly couldn't answer. It's not that He isn't showing me things, it's that I am not taking the time to actually listen. To sit down and just be in His presence. To soak up His love. I know that only way to fall more in Love with Him is to read His precious word. I also know that I need to humble myself to allow Him to work in my life. I write all of this to say that I would love your prayers back home. It's hard living in another country, where everything is different, and everyone is watching your every move due to the color of your skin. I know that life goes through seasons, and that in the times of my life when it's hard to give God the praise that He deserves, that's when I should be praising Him and clinging to Him tighter than before. So that's what I'm praying for, and asking for from you. Pray that I will run to Him first with everything. That I will allow Him to work in every aspect of my life. That I would remember why I am here and how He called me to come here.
I love making lists. I enjoy writing everything in a column and being able to cross it off when I'm finished. It gives me a sense of accomplishment. I've mentioned before that living here in South Asia, things just move at a different speed, so making lists helps, but can also drive you crazy since normal everyday things might take you much longer to do. Anyways...Ashley and I have found that if we don't make a list of our coming week, things just don't get done. This includes our morning schedule. Normal things go on this list, such as make coffee (a must!), laundry, working out with Jillian Michaels...etc.
However, before I even realized it, I had put "spending time with God" on the to-do list. Now, don't get me wrong. I don't think that there's necessarily anything wrong with putting that on the list in order to get in the habit of spending time with Him. I'm human, and I know if I don't make a mental/physical note to do that, I may have the best intentions to spend time with my Creator, but they stay just that; intentions. But this has now become a time that I rush through, in order to move on to the other activities of the day. Not only that, but my prayer life is also lacking. House visits have become something that are tiring and can be semi stressful, due to the language barrier, and the guessing game of "what the heck am I eating". All in all, I'm just tired, and experiencing a patch of 'culture shock'.
After recent discouragements, I was feeling overwhelmed and far away from God, and stuck in a rut. I was rudely confronted with this when I was asked by a friend what the Lord was showing me through His word, and I honestly couldn't answer. It's not that He isn't showing me things, it's that I am not taking the time to actually listen. To sit down and just be in His presence. To soak up His love. I know that only way to fall more in Love with Him is to read His precious word. I also know that I need to humble myself to allow Him to work in my life. I write all of this to say that I would love your prayers back home. It's hard living in another country, where everything is different, and everyone is watching your every move due to the color of your skin. I know that life goes through seasons, and that in the times of my life when it's hard to give God the praise that He deserves, that's when I should be praising Him and clinging to Him tighter than before. So that's what I'm praying for, and asking for from you. Pray that I will run to Him first with everything. That I will allow Him to work in every aspect of my life. That I would remember why I am here and how He called me to come here.
Psalm 119: 169-176
May my cry come before you, O Lord;
give me understanding according to your word.
May my supplication come before you; deliver me according to your promise.
May my lips overflow with praise, for you teach me your decrees.
May my tongue sing of your word, for all your commands are righteous.
May your hand be ready to help me, for I have chosen your precepts.
I long for your salvation, O Lord, and your law is my delight.
Let me live that I may praise you, and may your laws sustain me.
I have strayed like a lost sheep. See your servant, for I have not forgotten your commands.
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